You can only hold onto the past for so long...

March 14th, 2012; an entire year has gone by, and I'm in the exact same spot as I was a year ago. Nothing has changed over the course of this year, as in you haven't changed. You haven't changed one bit. You used to tell me that if I loved you, I wouldn't think that you needed to change. I guess I was just hoping that you'd want to change willingly. I guess I was just hoping that you'd want to better yourself, for me. I guess I was just hoping that I was worth it to you, that I was worth fighting for. You used to tell me that I was the best thing that ever happened to you, and now you're telling her the same thing. You used to tell me that you loved me, and it's only a matter of time before you're telling her that also. I used to believe in forever you know? I used to be a dreamer, before you went and let me down. When we were together, it was as if nothing else mattered. It seemed as if as long as we were together everything was going to be alright. I loved you with every ounce I had inside of me, but lately I constantly find myself wondering whether or not you ever really loved me back. But none of that matters now, does it? Because you're with her, and you're happy. I wonder if I'll ever be that happy with someone else... I thought I needed you, but I don't. At the end of the only people I need are my friends, and myself. My life will go on with, or without you. I'd much rather prefer it to go on with you, but we can't always get what we want... This is my final goodbye. Best of wishes.

This is for you ...

"You know you can't give me what I need. & even though you mean so much to me, I can't wait through everything. Is this really happening? I swear I'll never be happy again. & don't you dare say we can just be friends. We knew it'd happen eventually."

...

"Cover up with make up in the mirror. Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again. You cry alone, and then he swears he loves you. Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?"

I was just a crutch for your loneliness, your heart was never really there ...

Just know that I am always going to love you ... but I can't keep fighting for someone who isn't willing to fight for me back. I just wish you'd stop giving me false hope. Stop telling me that you love me, because you only love your fucking self. You don't want me, you just like the attention. You have a girlfriend, so go fuck with her mind for a change. Go break her heart, just like you broke mine. I don't know how you sleep at night. You've got everyone fooled into thinking that you are this nice guy, but I can see past all of that. I know who you really are. I may not be perfect, but atleast I have good intentions ... Unlike YOU. You are just out to get you want, and you don't care about who you hurt along the way. I refuse to be just another girl to you ... I am THE girl. I am the girl that got away ... and when you realize that I'm not coming back for you this time you are going to be crushed. As you should be considering the best thing you ever had just walked out of your life.

I don't like the idea of you. I'm in love with the idea of you.

Stop kidding yourself ... do the right thing, or live with the guilt of cheating on your girlfriend for the remainder of your relationship. Your choice.

"I don't know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change."

I don't love you any less than I used to ... My love for you is still very much alive. You're always on my mind, and in my heart. I know that it is possible to move on, as impossible as it seems, and in time the pain lessens. It will never completely go away, but after awhile it's not as overwhelming. You're just scared ... You're scared to get hurt again, and that's understandable. I'm scared too though, but honestly? You're worth the risk of getting hurt, again. You always have been. I just wish the feeling was mutual :'( Goodnight.

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It just means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Don't say I never fought for you. I literally begged for you back ... and you just laughed in my face. You know what though? I don't need to throw myself at any guy to make him want me, including you. I have so much to offer. I just wish I could have realized that a little bit sooner. Everything that you put me through is just going to make me a stronger person one day. I'm done chasing you, dear. I gave you my all ... I gave you 100% when really it should have been 50-50. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss you. I love you more than anything, but I'm sure I can love you equally as much as a friend ... It's going to be really hard, but I think this is for the best. It's finally time to put the past between us, and move on with our lives. I just want you to be happy ... I truly think we could of had it all, but I guess we'll never know now. Goodbye, baby. Thanks for all the memories. < 3